unconditional love

People talk a lot about unconditional love.

We like to think we love unconditionally.

We look at our kids and can’t imagine anything other than pure love forever - we can’t fathom our love for them fading in any way.

There are no conditions in which we wouldn’t love them.

Then we say things like “I love you, but”

I love you, but you’re being a bitch right now.

I love you, but you’re way too sensitive.

I love you, but I cannot support your lifestyle.

I love you, but you’re going to hell.

I love you, but you’re always starting drama.

The word ‘but’ is a conjunction when used in this way; it combines two sentences and indicates that the latter is contrasting the former.

It contrasts love. It rolls out the red carpet for exceptions. For conditions.

Is our love really unconditional if we’re able to say “I love you, but”?

Why don’t we talk about non-judgmental love instead?

When we love non-judgmentally our love always remains, despite our feelings which come and go.

There is no ‘but.’ There are no exceptions.

We say things like “I love you.” Full stop. If we really, truly love someone, why would we need to contrast that?

If we truly love someone, can’t we find a better way to communicate?

I love you. Your tone is hurtful. I’m going to end this conversation until you’re able to speak to me in a nicer way.

I love you. I’m sorry you’re hurting so much.

I love you. I don’t understand your lifestyle, but because I love you I am going to work on that.

I love you. I accept that my religious views are not the same as yours. I still love and accept you for who you are.

I love you. Thanks for always communicating your feelings.

What if, instead of judging the lives of those we love, we utilize compassion instead?

What if, instead of putting the burden to change who they inherently are onto others for our own comfort, we accept them fully as flawed and imperfect humans while looking inward and addressing the root of our discomfort?

Wouldn’t that eliminate conditions?

Couldn’t that lead us to true, non-judgmental, unconditional love?